As Ned mulled last season...and his teams' future....

I pulled into Angeles, I was thinking it's another lost year;
I just need some player to help me save my career.
"Hey, mister, can you tell me where a man might find a bat?"
He just grinned and shook my hand, and "Yes!", was all he said.

Take a load off Manny, take a load for free;
Take a load off Manny, And (and) (and) you can put the load right on me.

I picked up the phone, I'd heard that the Red Sox were fried;
When I saw old Frank and Jamie walkin' side by side.
I said, "Hey, Frank, I got a great deal this time."
A Hall of Fame hitter, and he won't cost you a dime."

Take a load off Manny, take a load for free;
Take a load off Manny, And (and) (and) you can put the load right on me.

Go down, Mr. Torre, there's nothin' you can say
It's just ol' Manny, and Manny's waitin' on the Judgement Day.
"Well, Manny, my friend, what about those dreds I see?"
He said, "Do me a favor, Joe, can I please keep some of those dreds for me?"

Take a load off Manny, take a load for free;
Take a load off Manny, And (and) (and) you can put the load right on me.

Crazy Boras followed me, and he caught me in the sun.
He said, "I will fix your team, if you'll just pay me a ton."
I said, "Wait a minute, Boras, you know I'm a baseball man."
He said, "That's okay, Ned, won't you pay me when you can."

Take a load off Manny, take a load for free;
Take a load off Manny, And (and) (and) you can put the load right on me.

Catch a Cell Phone, now, to put me on the line
My team is sinkin' low and I do believe it's time.
To get back to Mr. Manny, you know he's the only one.
Can save my job again and it's time to get it done.

Take a load off Manny, take a load for free;
Take a load off Manny, And (and) (and) you can put the load right on me.

I wrote a lament to Barry Bonds some time ago to Don McLean's beautiful "Vincent". It's been bothering me ever since that I scarred that song with his name.

Here's a little retribution.

Starry
starry night
paint the scorecard with those K's

look out on a summer's day
with eyes that know the
heroes of a child.
Memories compliled.

List'ning to the radio
catch Vin Scully home or road
the colors start to dance across my room.

How can you understand what I'm trying to say to you
how delightful then was Dodger blue
and how effortless he threw.
You could listen
to his fastball pop
and hear his curveball drop.

Number thirty-two
firing balls that seem so mean
fouled straight back into the screen
reflect in all the zeros on the board
A white knight with a sword

A thousand cherished memories
vanquished child anxieties
that stirred up in a crummy broken home

How can you understand what I'm trying to say to you
how wonderful that Koufax threw
and how his greatness grew.
You could listen to the cheering crowd
but then came the growing cloud

and when our team began regress
After his last press conf'rence.
He took his game
to New York's Hall of Fame
But I want to tell you, Sandy
this world will never see someone throw
as beautiful as you.

One-nine-seven-two
Sandy's portrait's in the Hall
other names surround the walls
and children's eyes pass by and can't be met
by mem'ries that I get

Dandy Don and Hershiser
Fernando and Game Over
were wonderful but they cannot compare

And now I think you know
Just what this man became to me
what he meant to me and so many
and why we love to praise Sandy

We need a thrill and we're waiting still

perhaps we never will.

This one kinda wrote itself - Joan Jett, I Love Rock and Roll:

I LOVE PVLs
.
Saw him standin' there he's a pitchin' machine.
Knew he musta been at least forty-three.
He stands so big and tall,
Think I give him a call-ooh-all-ooh-all-ooh-all.
An' I could tell it wouldn't be long
Til he was a D, yeah a D singin'
.
I love PVLs
So put another vet on the DL baby
I love PVLs
So please make up your mind to sign with me.
YEOW...
.
Was old so I got up an' asked for his name
"What's the difference Ned
cuz were all the same?"
Said Brocail I'll take you home
where you won't feel alo-ooh-o-ooh-o-ooh-own
An' next we're movin on an'
he was a D, yeah a D singin'
.
I'm a PVL
So put me on the DL with the vet'rans baby
I'm a PVL
So thank you Uncle Ned for signing me.
YEOW...
.
[guitar interlude]
.
Said here's Green Girdle land, where you can dis the fans...
An' I'll be movin' on
They'll all flock to me, yeah me
An' I'll be movin' on
an' lookin' out for old vets
Yeah old vets, singin'
.
I love PVLs
So put another vet on the DL baby
I love PVLs
So please make up your mind to sign with...
[Repeat chorus 4 more times]
So please make up your mind TO SIGN WITH ME.

Artist: Ned and The Veterans
CD: Time for a Change
©NedCo Broken Records 2008

NedCo - Where the past comes alive. Briefly.™

To Elvis Costello's "What's so Funny About Peace, Love and Understanding"

As we walk through
This Dodger world
Searchin for light in Ned Colletti's insanity.

We ask ourselves
Is all hope lost?
Is there only pain and hatred, and misery?

And each time we feel like this inside,
Theres one thing we wanna know:
Whats so funny bout peace love & understanding? ohhhh
Whats so funny bout peace love & understanding?

And as we walked on
Through Dodger times
Our spirit gets so downhearted sometimes
So where are the young?
And who are the trusted?
And where is all the money?
To buy CC?

cause each time we feel him slippin away, just makes us wanna cry.
Whats so funny bout peace love & understanding? ohhhh
Whats so funny bout peace love & understanding?

So where are the young?
And who are the trusted?
And where is all the money
To buy Manny?

cause each time we feel him slippin away, just makes us wanna cry.
Whats so funny bout peace love & understanding? ohhhh
Whats so funny bout peace love & understanding? ohhhh
Whats so funny bout peace love & understanding?

Another one from the King

The Wonder Of You

When no one else can understand me
When everything I do is wrong
You give me hope and consolation
You give me strength to carry on

And you're always there when I get slammed
For letting guys go free
That's the wonder
The wonder of me

And when I look into the mirror
The bloggers all seem to go away
Your mustache looks just so damned good
There's not a hint of turning grey

I guess I'll never know the reason why
They don't love me as I do
It makes me wonder
If I've stepped in poo

Oh,oh,oh,oh
Oh,oh,oh,oh
Oh,oh,oh,oh

I guess I'll never know the reason why
They hate me as they do
I mean, I'm trying
But my IQ is 2

Just a little song for our beloved GM. Rod Stewart with Faces - Stay With Me.

PLAY FOR ME
.
In the mornin'
We'll say we want him,
But by afternoon it's a whole 'nother stor[y].
I know your name is CC
But your sal'ry makes Frank queesy
So Johnson sounds in-triguing fo' sure - guitar
.
He don't need as much persuadin'
And our Girdle fund's degradin'
And with a team like ours
We like all his exper-i-ence
.
Red hair, beard and six foot ten
A surlier version of Gentle Ben
Let's go upstairs and sign that contract.
.
Play for me
Play for me
So this year you're gonna play for me
Play for me
Play for me
So this year you're gonna play for me
.
So in mid-summer
Please don't be suckin'
'Cuz the fans will want to show me the door
Yeah they'd pay my airfare home
They'd throw away my mustache comb
And I won't be a GM no mo' when Frank wakes up.
.
Play for free
Play for free
Manny, Blake and 'Roa played for free
Stand up, get out, leave town
Play for free
Play for free
Manny, Blake and 'Roa played for free
Hey, what's your age again? Get out, leave town.

Artist: Cranial Inversion Disorder
CD: I Have No Clue
©NedCo Broken Records 2008

NedCo - Last stop, Forest Lawn. Next to last stop, Dodgers.™

You're Not A Baseball Mind

To the King's "Suspicious Minds"

We're caught in a trap
We can't get out
Because you're our damned GM, Neddy

Why can't you see
Just get rid of JP
And get out there and resign Manny

You can't go on as GM
Without a baseball mind
And we can't build our team
Without a baseball mind

I dreamt McCourt told you, "GO!"
He won't spend any dough
On crap like Randy Johnson anymore

Here we go again
Right back where we've been
We can't believe these deals are real
We're crying!!

You just can't be our GM
Without a baseball mind
And we can't build our team
Without a baseball mind

Oh let our team survive
Please leave so we can revive
Let's don't let a good team die

When Neddy, you know
I've never liked you
Mmm yeah, yeah
We're caught in a trap
We can't get out
As long as you're our GM, baby

Why can't you see
Just get rid of JP
And we don't believe a word you're sayin'?

Beachboys - When I Grow Up (To Be A Man)

WHEN I GROW UP (TO BE A GM)
.
When I grow up to be a G M...
Will I hire the players that I watched when I was a kid?
Will Frank & Jamie look back and wish I hadn't done what I did?
Will I be around (will I be around) when the girdle goes round? (girdle goes round)
When I grow up to be a G M.
.
Will I waste a few million like I did with ol' Jason Schmidt?
(Forty-seven, forty-eight)
Or will it be on a fat-[behind] that showed he don't give a [doodie]?
(Thirty-five, thirty-six)
Now Manny was free (Manny was free) , but no longer it be. (no longer it be)
When I grow-up to be a G M.
.
Oooooo Ooooooo Oooooooo
.
Will the kids make us proud or think that JoJo's really a square?
(Three years, three years)
While they're out having fun yeah, Joe looks like he just doesn't care.
(wrong guy, wrong guy)
Will I put us in strife (put us in strife) for the rest of Frank's life? (rest of Frank's life)
When I grow up to be a G M
WHAT VETS WE'LL SEE...
When I grow up to be a G M.
.
Won't last forever
(last year, last year)
It's oh so sad
(contract, expires)
Won't last forever
(thank God, thank God)
It's oh so sad
(Logan, Logan)
[fade]

Artist: Why Us?
CD: When Pigs Fly
©NedCo Broken Records 2008

NedCo - Its not you, it's me.™

OK, you'll have to be near 50 or older, or listen to a lot of oldies to know this one - a one-hit wonder from 1970 by the Jaggerz - The Rapper.

NED FLANDERS
.
Hey Fra-ank, I betcha
It's washed-up vet'rans he'll geeeet youuuu.
He'll find them anywhere -
In San Fran, 'Zona, or a secondhand store.
He'll say, "Excuse me"
"Haven't I seen you play somewhere befooooore?"
.
Craaaaap-o-crap-o-crap
They call him Ned Flanders.
Craaaaaap, crap, crap
It's old vets he's afters.
.
So he starts his yappin'
Hoping some vet will haaap-en.
He'll say we need him
As a back-up, or a leader like Phew.
He's made up his mind
He'll offer Frank's millions for you.
.
Craaaaap-o-crap-o-crap
They call him Ned Flanders
Craaaaaap, crap, crap
It's old vets he's afters.
.
Vet's had a regression,
So Ned makes a sug-gesssst-ion.
Come play at our place
For millions, or me, or free.
They've got Ned where they want him...
Frank you gotta face re-al-i-tee.

Craaaaap-o-crap-o-crap
They call him Ned Flanders
Craaaaaap, crap, crap
It's old vets he's afters.

Craaaaaap, crap, crap
It's just old Ned Flanders...

Artist: PR"R"US
CD: Nothing's Changed
©NedCo Broken Records 2008

NedCo - Where its all new to us.™

Good Morning ITD!!

New song for the morning - Seekers, Georgy Girl.

NEDDY BOY
.
Hey there Neddy boy.
Plotting in you're office 9 to 5.
Of all the ath-a-letes you meet, you got us Juan Pierre - and Andruw Jones .
.
Hey there Neddy boy,
Why do all GMs just pass you by?
Could it be your deals don't fly?, or is it your moustache there?
.
You're always window shopping for PVLs you can buy.
Those that you've got have all come up dry - like Esteban
.
Hey there Neddy boy,
There's another Neddy deep inside,
One that won't make all us cry, and Oh! What a change there'd be,
The team we'd see! A new Neddy boy!
.
[Instrumental Interlude]
.
Hey there Neddy boy,
Dreamin' of the guys that we could get.
But whenever you try, they all seem to turn to Schmidt...
.
Don't be so unrelying and undermining our kids.
Tell Frank to ante up on the bids - Sabathia
.
Hey there Neddy boy,
There's another Neddy deep inside,
One that won't make all us cry, and Oh! What a change there'd be,
The team we'd see! A new Neddy boy!
.
(Hey there, Neddy boy)
Wake up, Neddy boy
(Hey there, Neddy boy)
Come on, Neddy boy
[Fade]

(Hey there, Neddy boy)
Wake up, Neddy boy

Artist: One Trick Pony
CD: I Am Mr. Ned
©NedCo Broken Records 2008

NedCo - Where the past is new again, at least to us.™