July 2011
Loot LA Clean
With apologies to the Monkees
•
Oh, I could lie, cheat and sting
a proud franchise that once was king.
Fabled Dodger Blue was my play thing.
But the fans, now they rise,
as does Selig, to my surprise.
The writing’s on the wall, but I still cling
Jig’s up, creepy Jamie,
oh what could have been.
Wish we’d had the brains and savvy
to loot LA clean.
By kpookiemon on May 10, 2011 11:08 am - Reply
MR. SANDSMAN
I’m an equal opportunity maligner. The Chordettes, Mr. Sandman:
MR. SANDSMAN
.
bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum
bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum
Mr. Sandsman, you ain’t no dream (bum bum bum bum)
Go back to ‘Querque where you can’t be seen (bum bum bum bum)
Been here a month and nothing’s gone over (bum bum bum bum)
Your average smells a lot, but that’s not clover
.
Sandsman’s slugging is low (bum bum bum bum)
Don’t look too ready to be in the show (bum bum bum bum)
Makes me long for ol’ Sid Bream
Mr. Sandsman, you ain’t no dream
.
bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum
bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum
Mr. Sandsman’s on the wrong team
Its banjo hitting that makes me scream
His outfield play’s like that of a rover
And then he never moves the runners over
.
Sandsman, let’s make it so
Time to go back to New Mexico
Can’t get wood between the seams
Mr. Sandsman, you ain’t no dream
.
bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum
bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum
Mr. Sandsman (Yooooo) you ain’t no dream
And for this song, I know I’ll get reamed
Ashley and Brock is what you remind me
Forgive me if my words aren’t very kindly
.
Mr. Sandsman, I’m just not sold (I’m just not sold)
You’re more like lead and nothing like gold
For me you’re star no longer gleams
Mr. Sandsman you ain’t, no, no no
Mr Sandsman you ain’t no dream
bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum
.
©NedCo Broken Records 2011. We make all the bad decisions so you won’t have to™.
By enchantedTheBeav on May 15, 2011 9:54 pm - Reply
We just want the deal done
Tru has inspired me to write this one…
Frank wonders who else he can ream
Tru-mommy says when you gonna sell the team?
Tru-mommy dear we’re not the fortunate ones
And we just want the deal done
Oh we just want the deal done
.
Frank’s phone rings in the middle of the night
Bud yells “What you’ve done with this team ain’t right.”
Bud Selig dear you know you’re still number one
But we just want the deal done
Oh we just want the deal…-
.
That’s all we really want
Some fun
When the working day is done
We just want the deal done
Oh we just want the deal done
.
Frank took our team and gave it fatigue
And hid it away from the rest of the league
We want to come watch this team in the sun
Oh we just want the deal done
Oh we just want the deal done
.
That’s all we really want
Some fun
When the working day is done
We just want the deal done
Oh we just want the deal done,
We want to have fun,
We want McCourt gone!
By GiveUsBackOurTeam on May 21, 2011 12:01 am - Reply
FINGER PUPPET TIME
You got your wish Tru. Don’t even have to change the lyrics much. Hank Ballard & The Midnighters, Finger Poppin’ Time:
.
FINGER PUPPET TIME
.
Hey now, hey now, hey now, hey now
It’s finger pup-puppet time
Finger puppet puppet time
It feels so good
Whew! The things you pantomime
.
Hey now, hey now, hey now, hey now
Hey Wally, come o’er here and see
Hey, hey, hey Nelly
Come o’er here with me
We’re gonna shake it until it breaks
Don’t let Tru see
.
Hey now, hey now, hey now, hey now
It’s finger pup-puppet time
Finger puppet puppet time
It feels so good
The things you pantomime
.
Here comes Nelly, here comes Tru
Here come Wally and Beaver too
It’s finger pup-puppet time
It feels so good
The things you pantomime
.
[Instrumental Interlude]
(Hey now, hey now, hey now, hey now, hey now)
.
Here comes Nelly, here comes Tru
Here come Wally and Beaver too
It’s finger pup puppet time
It feels so good
The things you pantomime
.
Hey now, hey now, hey now, hey now
It’s finger pup-puppet time
Finger puppet puppet time
It feels so good
The things you pantomime
.
©NedCo Broken Records 2011
By enchantedTheBeav on May 20, 2011 10:13 pm - Reply
BEEN SCREWED, BEEN SCREWED, BEEN SCREWED, BEEN SCREWED, BEEN SCREWED
Ah, I perfect segue into my tribute to Ned. ABBA – I Do I Do I Do I Do I Do
.
BEEN SCREWED, BEEN SCREWED, BEEN SCREWED, BEEN SCREWED, BEEN SCREWED
.
Julio Lugo, Juan Pierre, Juan Uribe
We’ve been screwed
Been screwed, been screwed, been screwed, been screwed, been screwed
.
Manny Ramirez, Marcus Thames, R. Martinez
We’ve been screwed
Been screwed, been screwed, been screwed, been screwed, been screwed
.
Ohman, Mark Sweeney, Jones, Wells, Schmidt, Robles
Wolf, Nomar, Baez, Lurch, Tomko, Gibbons
.
Mientkiewicz, Proctor, Carter, Miles, Green, and TheRiot
We’ve been screwed
Been screwed, been screwed, been screwed, been screwed, been screwed
.
[Musical Interlude – preferably with kazoos]
.
Both Ortiz’s, Vargas, Blake, Dotel,
Weaver, Hill, Bennett, Milton, Park, Towers
.
Vicente Padilla, Ted Lilly, Scott Posednik
We’ve been screwed
Been screwed, been screwed, been screwed, been screwed, been screwed
.
Dioner Navarro, Jack Taschner, E. Loaiza
We’ve been screwed
Been screwed, been screwed, been screwed, been screwed, been screwed
.
Angel Berroa, Anderson(s), Aaron Sele
We’ve been screwed
Been screwed, been screwed, been screwed, been screwed, been screwed
.
©NedCo Broken Records 2011.
.
Some of the others who didn’t make it into the song: Lofton, Mueller, Alomar, Furcal, Saenz, Schmoll, Saito, Carrera, Ledee, Maddux, Betemit, Dessens, Lieberthal, Seanez, Clark, R. Hernendez, MacDougal, Sao, Hillenbrand, Castro, Park, Kuroda, Ethier, Sturtze, Falkenborg, T. Martin, Chavez, J. Johnson, Sherrill, Ausmus, Mota, Hudson, Loretta, Belliard, Thome, Miller, Guerrier, Barajas, Gwynn, Garland, Monasterios, R. Johnson, Hawksworth, Cormier, Carroll, Ely, Link, Gimenez…
By enchantedTheBeav on June 8, 2011 12:33 pm - Reply
Bum Buddies Done Bummed Buddy’s Dong Thong
Y’all sound like you could use some cheering up. How about a little BJ Thomas, Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Song:
Its cold out here tonight
And the season’s just not right for a polka-dot love thong
Bum buddies done bummed buddy’s dong thong
.
Hey, are you gay?, you donned a
Bum buddies done bummed buddy’s dong thong
And had to walk on home
Looking like a lady
Looking like a lady
.
So partake with me, eccen-tricities
Where dad had to make everybody lie-i-i-i-i
A polka-dot thong, and a hot pink sarong
And all those late night calls on the phone
.
Hey, are you gay?, you donned a
Bum buddies done bummed buddy’s dong thong
And had to walk on home
Looking like a lady
Looking like a lady
.
So par-tay with me, this strange malady
The one all those said that you shouldn’t try-y-y-y-y
A polka-dot thong, and a hot pink sarong
And a bustier with points like a cone
.
Hey, are you gay? , you donned a
Bum buddies done bummed buddy’s dong thong
And had to walk on home
Looking like a lady
Looking like a lady
.
Hey, are you gay? (are you gay?), you donned a
Bum buddies done bummed buddy’s dong thong
And had to walk on home
Looking like a lady
Looking like a lady
.
Hey, are you gay? (are you gay?), you donned a
Bum buddies done bummed buddy’s dong thong
And had to walk on home
Looking like a lady
Looking like a lady
(fade)
.
©NedCo Broken Records 2011
By enchantedTheBeav on May 22, 2011 12:07 pm - Reply
The Wreck Of The Good Dodger Franchise
Dang it, I’ve got this started to the Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald, but I’m stuck after the first stanza:
.
The legend lives on from Pacoima on south
Of the big ass we call Ned Colletti
The team it is said does its best playing dead
And the cloud from this bomb is mushroomy
Signed a ton of vet’ran whores, ninety-five million or more
But the Dodgers roster still’s empty
The rest of the blue is for us to eschew
When the break in November comes early
.
.
Need some help on this one!!
By enchantedTheBeav on May 19, 2011 8:06 pm - Reply
The club was the pride of baseballs National side,
Coming here from a borough in Brooklyn,
As baseball teams go, it was better than most, with lineup and skipper well seasoned,
Concluding some terms with a corrupt Boston firm,
We now knew that the glass was half empty,
And later with fright when they hired a management gang,
Could it be a G’nat reject who’d be dealing.
By JhallWally on May 19, 2011 8:36 pm - Reply
The Times and news wires sold a tattle-tale round
Bout chauffeurs Jamie was dating
And Franky he blew, cuz he’d married a shrew
T’was the bitch of Old Boston asquealin’
Divorce came fast and the team still came last
And Frank’s pocketbooks were soon emptied
When ’11 came half the team came up lame
And the rest I’m not able to mention
By enchantedTheBeav on May 19, 2011 9:13 pm - Reply
When dealing time came old Colletti came out a sayin’,
Fella’s your too young to play ya,
A stupid GM, for PVLs he caved in sayin’,
Fella’s ya should’ve been older,
To the waiver wire then, he had PVLs coming in,
Throwing away young players our peril,
And later that year, with PVL injuries we feared,
Came the mess that is now McCourts Dodgers.
By JhallWally on May 19, 2011 9:32 pm -
Does anyone know where the money all goes
Frank borrowed thirty but payroll’s just twenty
The researchers say he shant make it through May
He needs sev’ral more millions to fund her.
Would they split the team up if the owner capsized?
Franky’s boat leaks and is taking on water
Now all that remains is a bunch of lost games
Let’s get rid of those scum Boston squatters
By enchantedTheBeav on May 19, 2011 9:36 pm -
Bud Selig rules, and Soberoff spins,
Jamie now lives in 6 mansions,
Old Neddy steamrolls the young players dreams,
With the old vets that just ain’t producing,
In triple A below, the players well know,
They’ll wait to see where Ned sends ‘em,
And the pennant dreams go as the ITDers well know,
With the ignorant Ned deals of November.
By JhallWally on May 19, 2011 10:00 pm -
With some rusty old clowns that Colletti lets play
In what once was considered a heaven
The death knell chimes for the [now] twenty-three times
That its been since won a world series
.
The legend lives on from Pacoima on south
Of the big ass we call Ned Colletti
The team it is said does its best playing dead
And the cloud from this bomb is mushroomy!
By enchantedTheBeav on May 19, 2011 10:08 pm –
Great job Wally!!!
By enchantedTheBeav on May 19, 2011 10:08 pm -
Thanks Beav, you too!!!
By JhallWally on May 19, 2011 10:12 pm -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6U219P_zs7w&feature=player_embedded
dodgereric
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