Peter, Paul & Mary - Lemon Tree. If you've forgotten the song (or if you're really young) here's the tune:
.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=301T3rf-1Ts

F A TREE
.
When Ned was just a lad of ten, his father said to he,
"Come here and take a lesson from the F A pool you see."
"Don't put your faith in stats my boy" his father say to he,
"I fear you'll find that facts aren't all that they're cracked up to be."
.
Andruw Jones barely hitty, and the bucks per bomb not free
but you'll pay 36 million for a golf ball on his knee.
Andruw Jones he's just schiddy, back to At-lan-ta he flee
but the truth as we all know it, still can't hit it off a tee.
.
One day a couple years ago, a fielder he did need
Would youth be served, a learning curve for our ol' Ned to heed?
Youth be damned, a vet'ran's grand he thought for just a fee,
And in the end he took it again for all the world to see.
.
Juan Pierre very speedy and his batting av'rage was neat
but inside of two seasons he was asked to take a seat.
Juan Pierre rag armed pity, didn't matter that he's fleet,
can't steal first so he just sits now cause his OBP ain't sweet.
.
Now we're here in need again, a pitcher two or three.
There's CC, Sheets and AJ too that we would like to see.
But in his head, these words again taken to heart by thee
Stats and facts are lost my friend on ponderous fools like he.
.
A. Pettitte's very pretty and his pitching once was sweet
but the guys all but done for, don't need him for a repeat.
A. Pettitte he's still gritty and he's thirty-six it's true
but his best days are behind him, we don't need another screw.

Artist: Bitter Harvest
CD: Don't Do It
©NedCo Broken Records 2008

NedCo - What's new? - We don't know.™

A lot of people think there are no lyrics to this song, so I wrote some.

To the Kingsman's "Louis, Louis"

"Serenity Now"

Serenity now, oh no
Joe gotta go
Aye-yi-yi-yi, I said
Serenity now, oh no
Joe gotta go

It's taking too long, it seems to me
For GM Ned to talk to C.C.
I understand that it's lotsa bucks
But 4 million fans back up the trucks

Serenity now, oh no
Ned gotta go
Aye-yi-yi-yi, I said
Serenity now, oh no
Ned gotta go

For nights and days we've failed to see
Why in the world we signed JP
And if that weren't enough for you
We turned around and then signed Andruw

Serenity now, oh no
Juan gotta go
Aye-yi-yi-yi, I said
Serenity now, oh no
Dru gotta go

Okay, let's give it to 'em, right now!

GUITAR SOLO

You came along and bought our team
Without any cash, or so it seemed
We're sick of these guys that ain't costin'
So just leave now, we ain't Boston

Serenity now, oh no
Frank gotta go
Aye-yi-yi-yi, I said
Serenity now, oh no
Frank gotta go

There is a funny story about this song when I was a kid because I had the lyrics very wrong and still laugh hysterically when I hear it because I still hear those words and not the actually words. When I first heard this song I was 5-6 and we were at a community pool we belonged to at the time. I didn't hear the words "It's Magic." I heard "It's my *ick" (LMAO!!) I can't even type it without laughing my *ss off because I couldn't as a 5 year old understand why a song would talk about THAT - LOL!!! Anyhow trublue's comment about Joe's magic made me think about this song.

It's Magic - Pilot

Joe, Joe, Joe
He's magic, you know
Never believe it's not so
He's magic, you know
Never believe, it's not so

Never been awake
Never seen a game break
Leaning on his railing in the evening
Crazy days with Ned
Old vets are in his head
Playing till they see the light

Joe,Joe, Joe
He's magic, you know
Never believe it's not so
He's magic, you know
Never believe, it's not so

Joe loves to watch his vets play
Dreams of another day
Leaning on his railing in the evening
Never been awake
Never seen a game break
Leaning on is railing in the evening light

Joe,Joe,Joe
He's magic, you know
Never believe it's not so
He's magic, you know
Never believe, it's not so

Joe,Joe, Joe
He's magic, you know
Never believe it's not so
He's magic, you know
Never believe, it's not so

Here's is the music (I think) if you don't recall what song this is...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41UIiEH53QY

The Go-Gos, Our Lips Are Sealed:

FRANK'S WALLET'S SEALED
.
Can you see them?
It's about fluff
All P R
We'll watch from afar
.
We don't get them
Won't pursue them
We have no say
Who we will get to play
.
It doesn't matter what Ned say
'bout the free agents pool today
hey-eh-eh
Frank's wallet's sealed
.
There are players
That we must get
The best over
The rest
.
When we look at them
Want to sign them
That's when hope disappears
That's when its Ned we fear
.
It doesn't matter what their age
Vet'rans are all the rage
Hey-eh-eh
Frank's wallet's sealed
Pay no mind to what Ned say
Its P V Ls he'll get to play
Hey-eh-eh
Frank's wallet's sealed
.
Now my bloggers
Don't you cry
Fellow bloggers
Tell you why
.
Can you see them?
It's about fluff
All P R
We'll watch from afar
.
We don't get them.
Won't pursue them.
We have no say
Who we will get to play
.
It doesn't matter what their age
Vet'rans are all the rage
Hey-eh-eh
Frank's wallet's sealed
Pay no mind to what Ned say
Its P V Ls he'll get to play
Hey-eh-eh
Frank's wallet's sealed
.
Frank's wallet's sealed
.
Frank's wallet's sealed.

Artist: Yada Yada Yada
CD: Lip Service
© NedCo Broken Records 2008

NedCo - Where time stands still.™

As Ned mulled last season...and his teams' future....

I pulled into Angeles, I was thinking it's another lost year;
I just need some player to help me save my career.
"Hey, mister, can you tell me where a man might find a bat?"
He just grinned and shook my hand, and "Yes!", was all he said.

Take a load off Manny, take a load for free;
Take a load off Manny, And (and) (and) you can put the load right on me.

I picked up the phone, I'd heard that the Red Sox were fried;
When I saw old Frank and Jamie walkin' side by side.
I said, "Hey, Frank, I got a great deal this time."
A Hall of Fame hitter, and he won't cost you a dime."

Take a load off Manny, take a load for free;
Take a load off Manny, And (and) (and) you can put the load right on me.

Go down, Mr. Torre, there's nothin' you can say
It's just ol' Manny, and Manny's waitin' on the Judgement Day.
"Well, Manny, my friend, what about those dreds I see?"
He said, "Do me a favor, Joe, can I please keep some of those dreds for me?"

Take a load off Manny, take a load for free;
Take a load off Manny, And (and) (and) you can put the load right on me.

Crazy Boras followed me, and he caught me in the sun.
He said, "I will fix your team, if you'll just pay me a ton."
I said, "Wait a minute, Boras, you know I'm a baseball man."
He said, "That's okay, Ned, won't you pay me when you can."

Take a load off Manny, take a load for free;
Take a load off Manny, And (and) (and) you can put the load right on me.

Catch a Cell Phone, now, to put me on the line
My team is sinkin' low and I do believe it's time.
To get back to Mr. Manny, you know he's the only one.
Can save my job again and it's time to get it done.

Take a load off Manny, take a load for free;
Take a load off Manny, And (and) (and) you can put the load right on me.

I wrote a lament to Barry Bonds some time ago to Don McLean's beautiful "Vincent". It's been bothering me ever since that I scarred that song with his name.

Here's a little retribution.

Starry
starry night
paint the scorecard with those K's

look out on a summer's day
with eyes that know the
heroes of a child.
Memories compliled.

List'ning to the radio
catch Vin Scully home or road
the colors start to dance across my room.

How can you understand what I'm trying to say to you
how delightful then was Dodger blue
and how effortless he threw.
You could listen
to his fastball pop
and hear his curveball drop.

Number thirty-two
firing balls that seem so mean
fouled straight back into the screen
reflect in all the zeros on the board
A white knight with a sword

A thousand cherished memories
vanquished child anxieties
that stirred up in a crummy broken home

How can you understand what I'm trying to say to you
how wonderful that Koufax threw
and how his greatness grew.
You could listen to the cheering crowd
but then came the growing cloud

and when our team began regress
After his last press conf'rence.
He took his game
to New York's Hall of Fame
But I want to tell you, Sandy
this world will never see someone throw
as beautiful as you.

One-nine-seven-two
Sandy's portrait's in the Hall
other names surround the walls
and children's eyes pass by and can't be met
by mem'ries that I get

Dandy Don and Hershiser
Fernando and Game Over
were wonderful but they cannot compare

And now I think you know
Just what this man became to me
what he meant to me and so many
and why we love to praise Sandy

We need a thrill and we're waiting still

perhaps we never will.

This one kinda wrote itself - Joan Jett, I Love Rock and Roll:

I LOVE PVLs
.
Saw him standin' there he's a pitchin' machine.
Knew he musta been at least forty-three.
He stands so big and tall,
Think I give him a call-ooh-all-ooh-all-ooh-all.
An' I could tell it wouldn't be long
Til he was a D, yeah a D singin'
.
I love PVLs
So put another vet on the DL baby
I love PVLs
So please make up your mind to sign with me.
YEOW...
.
Was old so I got up an' asked for his name
"What's the difference Ned
cuz were all the same?"
Said Brocail I'll take you home
where you won't feel alo-ooh-o-ooh-o-ooh-own
An' next we're movin on an'
he was a D, yeah a D singin'
.
I'm a PVL
So put me on the DL with the vet'rans baby
I'm a PVL
So thank you Uncle Ned for signing me.
YEOW...
.
[guitar interlude]
.
Said here's Green Girdle land, where you can dis the fans...
An' I'll be movin' on
They'll all flock to me, yeah me
An' I'll be movin' on
an' lookin' out for old vets
Yeah old vets, singin'
.
I love PVLs
So put another vet on the DL baby
I love PVLs
So please make up your mind to sign with...
[Repeat chorus 4 more times]
So please make up your mind TO SIGN WITH ME.

Artist: Ned and The Veterans
CD: Time for a Change
©NedCo Broken Records 2008

NedCo - Where the past comes alive. Briefly.™

To Elvis Costello's "What's so Funny About Peace, Love and Understanding"

As we walk through
This Dodger world
Searchin for light in Ned Colletti's insanity.

We ask ourselves
Is all hope lost?
Is there only pain and hatred, and misery?

And each time we feel like this inside,
Theres one thing we wanna know:
Whats so funny bout peace love & understanding? ohhhh
Whats so funny bout peace love & understanding?

And as we walked on
Through Dodger times
Our spirit gets so downhearted sometimes
So where are the young?
And who are the trusted?
And where is all the money?
To buy CC?

cause each time we feel him slippin away, just makes us wanna cry.
Whats so funny bout peace love & understanding? ohhhh
Whats so funny bout peace love & understanding?

So where are the young?
And who are the trusted?
And where is all the money
To buy Manny?

cause each time we feel him slippin away, just makes us wanna cry.
Whats so funny bout peace love & understanding? ohhhh
Whats so funny bout peace love & understanding? ohhhh
Whats so funny bout peace love & understanding?

Another one from the King

The Wonder Of You

When no one else can understand me
When everything I do is wrong
You give me hope and consolation
You give me strength to carry on

And you're always there when I get slammed
For letting guys go free
That's the wonder
The wonder of me

And when I look into the mirror
The bloggers all seem to go away
Your mustache looks just so damned good
There's not a hint of turning grey

I guess I'll never know the reason why
They don't love me as I do
It makes me wonder
If I've stepped in poo

Oh,oh,oh,oh
Oh,oh,oh,oh
Oh,oh,oh,oh

I guess I'll never know the reason why
They hate me as they do
I mean, I'm trying
But my IQ is 2

Just a little song for our beloved GM. Rod Stewart with Faces - Stay With Me.

PLAY FOR ME
.
In the mornin'
We'll say we want him,
But by afternoon it's a whole 'nother stor[y].
I know your name is CC
But your sal'ry makes Frank queesy
So Johnson sounds in-triguing fo' sure - guitar
.
He don't need as much persuadin'
And our Girdle fund's degradin'
And with a team like ours
We like all his exper-i-ence
.
Red hair, beard and six foot ten
A surlier version of Gentle Ben
Let's go upstairs and sign that contract.
.
Play for me
Play for me
So this year you're gonna play for me
Play for me
Play for me
So this year you're gonna play for me
.
So in mid-summer
Please don't be suckin'
'Cuz the fans will want to show me the door
Yeah they'd pay my airfare home
They'd throw away my mustache comb
And I won't be a GM no mo' when Frank wakes up.
.
Play for free
Play for free
Manny, Blake and 'Roa played for free
Stand up, get out, leave town
Play for free
Play for free
Manny, Blake and 'Roa played for free
Hey, what's your age again? Get out, leave town.

Artist: Cranial Inversion Disorder
CD: I Have No Clue
©NedCo Broken Records 2008

NedCo - Last stop, Forest Lawn. Next to last stop, Dodgers.™

You're Not A Baseball Mind

To the King's "Suspicious Minds"

We're caught in a trap
We can't get out
Because you're our damned GM, Neddy

Why can't you see
Just get rid of JP
And get out there and resign Manny

You can't go on as GM
Without a baseball mind
And we can't build our team
Without a baseball mind

I dreamt McCourt told you, "GO!"
He won't spend any dough
On crap like Randy Johnson anymore

Here we go again
Right back where we've been
We can't believe these deals are real
We're crying!!

You just can't be our GM
Without a baseball mind
And we can't build our team
Without a baseball mind

Oh let our team survive
Please leave so we can revive
Let's don't let a good team die

When Neddy, you know
I've never liked you
Mmm yeah, yeah
We're caught in a trap
We can't get out
As long as you're our GM, baby

Why can't you see
Just get rid of JP
And we don't believe a word you're sayin'?

Beachboys - When I Grow Up (To Be A Man)

WHEN I GROW UP (TO BE A GM)
.
When I grow up to be a G M...
Will I hire the players that I watched when I was a kid?
Will Frank & Jamie look back and wish I hadn't done what I did?
Will I be around (will I be around) when the girdle goes round? (girdle goes round)
When I grow up to be a G M.
.
Will I waste a few million like I did with ol' Jason Schmidt?
(Forty-seven, forty-eight)
Or will it be on a fat-[behind] that showed he don't give a [doodie]?
(Thirty-five, thirty-six)
Now Manny was free (Manny was free) , but no longer it be. (no longer it be)
When I grow-up to be a G M.
.
Oooooo Ooooooo Oooooooo
.
Will the kids make us proud or think that JoJo's really a square?
(Three years, three years)
While they're out having fun yeah, Joe looks like he just doesn't care.
(wrong guy, wrong guy)
Will I put us in strife (put us in strife) for the rest of Frank's life? (rest of Frank's life)
When I grow up to be a G M
WHAT VETS WE'LL SEE...
When I grow up to be a G M.
.
Won't last forever
(last year, last year)
It's oh so sad
(contract, expires)
Won't last forever
(thank God, thank God)
It's oh so sad
(Logan, Logan)
[fade]

Artist: Why Us?
CD: When Pigs Fly
©NedCo Broken Records 2008

NedCo - Its not you, it's me.™

OK, you'll have to be near 50 or older, or listen to a lot of oldies to know this one - a one-hit wonder from 1970 by the Jaggerz - The Rapper.

NED FLANDERS
.
Hey Fra-ank, I betcha
It's washed-up vet'rans he'll geeeet youuuu.
He'll find them anywhere -
In San Fran, 'Zona, or a secondhand store.
He'll say, "Excuse me"
"Haven't I seen you play somewhere befooooore?"
.
Craaaaap-o-crap-o-crap
They call him Ned Flanders.
Craaaaaap, crap, crap
It's old vets he's afters.
.
So he starts his yappin'
Hoping some vet will haaap-en.
He'll say we need him
As a back-up, or a leader like Phew.
He's made up his mind
He'll offer Frank's millions for you.
.
Craaaaap-o-crap-o-crap
They call him Ned Flanders
Craaaaaap, crap, crap
It's old vets he's afters.
.
Vet's had a regression,
So Ned makes a sug-gesssst-ion.
Come play at our place
For millions, or me, or free.
They've got Ned where they want him...
Frank you gotta face re-al-i-tee.

Craaaaap-o-crap-o-crap
They call him Ned Flanders
Craaaaaap, crap, crap
It's old vets he's afters.

Craaaaaap, crap, crap
It's just old Ned Flanders...

Artist: PR"R"US
CD: Nothing's Changed
©NedCo Broken Records 2008

NedCo - Where its all new to us.™

Good Morning ITD!!

New song for the morning - Seekers, Georgy Girl.

NEDDY BOY
.
Hey there Neddy boy.
Plotting in you're office 9 to 5.
Of all the ath-a-letes you meet, you got us Juan Pierre - and Andruw Jones .
.
Hey there Neddy boy,
Why do all GMs just pass you by?
Could it be your deals don't fly?, or is it your moustache there?
.
You're always window shopping for PVLs you can buy.
Those that you've got have all come up dry - like Esteban
.
Hey there Neddy boy,
There's another Neddy deep inside,
One that won't make all us cry, and Oh! What a change there'd be,
The team we'd see! A new Neddy boy!
.
[Instrumental Interlude]
.
Hey there Neddy boy,
Dreamin' of the guys that we could get.
But whenever you try, they all seem to turn to Schmidt...
.
Don't be so unrelying and undermining our kids.
Tell Frank to ante up on the bids - Sabathia
.
Hey there Neddy boy,
There's another Neddy deep inside,
One that won't make all us cry, and Oh! What a change there'd be,
The team we'd see! A new Neddy boy!
.
(Hey there, Neddy boy)
Wake up, Neddy boy
(Hey there, Neddy boy)
Come on, Neddy boy
[Fade]

(Hey there, Neddy boy)
Wake up, Neddy boy

Artist: One Trick Pony
CD: I Am Mr. Ned
©NedCo Broken Records 2008

NedCo - Where the past is new again, at least to us.™

For today's selection, Mama's and the Papa's Creeque Alley:

Blogger's itchy and gettin' kinda bitchy
Just to get Manny Ra-mirez signed.
Frank has Neddy jettison Brad Penny
Tryin' to get his wallet unbind.
.
In his lonely office Logan sat
And rolled his eyes around while Frank passed the hat.
Maddux and Kuroda just a gettin' olda
in L.A. you know where that's at.
.
And nothing's getting fat except Andruw's ***. [burro]
.
Neddy said, "Franky you know there aren't many
Who can screw the pooch the way that I do; let's call Joe."
Franky said, "Neddy, you've got to get us ready,
sign us a PVL or two."
.
In the dugout 'lil Juan P sat
Because his every season's worse than his last.
D.Lowe and DeWitt and don't forget J.Schmidt
One's: gone, hurt and too young to hack.
.
And nothing's getting fat except Andruw's ***. [burro]
.
When Ned was a sophomore, raided him the vet store
And came back with Berroa and Jones.
Kansas City turnpike, Georgia couldn't hit right,
Get us Casey Blake right away.
.
When Neddy saw Man-he gave up Andy.
Called Frank and Joe and things turned out quite dandy.
Marty and An'dre trying to get more penny
In arbitration that's where they're at.
.
And nothing's getting fat except Andruw's ***. [burro]
.
Sal'ry dumps, big bumps, long slumps, pay jumps -
And now two guys that don't want to play.
Wake up, shake up, half the team it break up;
Guess it just ol' Neddy's own way.
.
Blake and Ferk took the plunge into the big pool
Leaving Frank and Ned looking like the big fools
Jones and Pierre-a they just don'ta care 'bout L.A.
You know where that's at.
.
And the only one getting fat is Scott Borass.
.
Frank's busted, disgusted, Ned he can't be trusted
And CC wants to live near the sea.
Manny won't take it, a better offer make it
We think he'll come eventually.
Financin' on American Express cards;
Parking lot is full, but keepin' out the goon's hard.
Franky's good intentions, without player sensations
Can't go on indefinitely.
And only the green girdle is becoming a reality...

Artist: Ship of Fools
CD: Here We Go Again
©NedCo Broken Records 2008

NedCo - Spreading Frank's wealth one player at a time.™

Listening to some pre-Beatles oldies tonight...

"Never Let Your Agent Run Your Life" (to the tune of "If you wanna be happy" by Jimmy Soul)

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never let your agent run your life
So from my personal point of view
Make the deal that'll work best for you

A loudmouth agent makes his client look small
And very often causes a GM's downfall
As soon as you sign their man
Then he start the process over again

But if you don't let the agent run your life
You might end up somewhere you like
The media hawks will ease up in time
And you just might find peace of mind

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never let your agent run your life
So from my personal point of view
Make the deal that'll work best for you

Don't let your agent say you have no taste
Go ahead and take the contract anyway
Though the contract's small, the cash don't match
Take it from me, that's a lotta cash

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never let your agent run your life
So from my personal point of view
Make the deal that'll work best for you

"Say Manny!"
"Hey baby"
"Saw your agent the other day"
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, it was uuuugly!"
"Yeah, he was ugly, but he knows his books, baby!"

If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never let your agent run your life
So from my personal point of view
Make the deal that'll work best for you

More Beatles:

Borass Man (to the tune of "Taxman" by the Beatles)

Let me tell you how it will be
$90 mil for you, 19 for me
'Cause I'm Borass, man
Yeah I'm Borass, man

If one client should opt out this fall
Be thankful I don't trade them all
'Cause I'm Borass, man
Yeah, I'm Borass man

If you start too low, I'll sell 'em high
When I'm through with you, your wallet's dry
If they fire me, I won't break sweat
I'll just catch a ride on A-Rod's jet

Borass, man

Don't ask me how much he'll go for (ah-ah, Mister Ned)
Just know I've made many Front Office's poor (ah-ah, in the east)
'Cause I'm Borass, man
Yeah I'm Borass, man

Now my advice for those without the cash
You can lose my number lightning fast
'Cause I'm Borass, man
Yeah I'm Borass, man

And you're dealing with no one but me

Hey ITD!!

How about a little GM song for Ned? To the Beatles' Christ You Know It Ain't Easy:

FRANK YOU KNOW IT AIN'T EASY
.
We've got no starting rotation,
At second and short we do lack.
Towers called me to say, there's a prem-yum to pay,
Peavy's gonna cost Kersh and 'Dre in the pack
.
Frank! You know it ain't easy
You know how hard it can be.
The way things are goin',
The fans'll crucify me.
.
Need to talk to Genske about CC.
Gotta get Ben Sheets on the line.
The bloggers all said, they've got no faith in old Ned
I've still got 25 mil ridin' the pine.
.
Frank! You know it ain't easy
You know how hard it can be.
The way things are goin',
The fans'll crucify me.
.
Saving up your money for arb'tration day,
Decline the option Brad Penny.
Last night the wife said,
"Oh Ned, let Logan do it instead, Boras is gonna end up with your soul â€""
Think!
.
Make a lightning trip up to Las Vegas.
Sammy, Kent and Blake won't be back.
The newspapers said, my career's all but dead,
Its muscle in the line-up we lack.
.
Frank! You know it ain't easy
You know how hard it can be.
The way things are goin',
The fans'll crucify me.
.
Caught a glimpse of Schmidty last April,
Fifty million gone in one whack.
The leaks in the pen need to be stop-gapped again,
Before the press goes back on the attack
.
Frank! You know it ain't easy
You know how hard it can be.
The way things are goin',
The fans'll crucify me.
.
The way things are goin'
The fans'll crucify me!

Artist: Ned and the Gnats
CD: Here We Go Again
©NedCo Broken Records 2008

Nedco - spreading the wealth again and again.™

I hate the offseason.

Wake Me Up When Spring Training Ends (from Green Day's "Wake Me Up When September Ends")

Now fall has come again,
Drowning away our old friend
Wake me up when Spring Training ends

Football is some's favorite sport
16 weeks is 2 months too short
Wake me up when Spring Training ends

Vero Beach and Dodgertown
Fading like a scar
Emmett Kelly cries tonight
on an Arizona star

Basketball is saccarine
In their playoffs, everyone's in
Wake me up when Spring Training ends

Hockey struck its fans away
Only excitement's New Year's Day
Wake me up when Spring Training ends

The Hot Stove is comforting
but only for a month
And this year's just a memory
Like lefty Kelly Wunsch

The Season has come to pass
Now the GM's kiss Boras' ___
Wake me up when Spring Training ends

AFL's and Ligas spring
But only one League matters to me
Wake me up when Spring Training ends...

Just wake me up when Spring Training ends.