This post is three games past due, but I thought it was appropriate to repost this song for this “Three’ thread:

Three is a Magic Number
Original Artist: Schoolhouse Rock
.
Three is a magic number,
Yes it is, it’s a magic number.
Somewhere in the Dodger’s mystic trinity
You get three as a magic number.
.
A single, a walk, and a roundtripper
Steve Sax and 3-Dog Willie
Tommy’s heart, O’Malley’s brain and The Bison’s body
Give you three as a magic number.
.
Three times on-base makes a good leadoff
And can make an offense run
It takes Matt’s wheels to really run
Drive ‘em to distraction
.
Every triangle has three corners,
Every triangle has three sides,
No more, no less.
You don’t have to guess.
When it’s three you can see
It’s a magic number.
.
A Martin and a Loney joined Matt Kemp
Yes, they did.
Three superstars on one great team
And that’s a magic number.
.
3-6-9, 12-15-18, 21-24-27, 30.
3-6-9, 12-15-18, 21-24-27, 30.

Original Song: Theme song from “H.R. Puff’n'Stuff
.
H.K. HARDSTUFF
.
H.K. Hardstuff
Who’s your friend when things get rough?
H.K. Hardstuff
Can do a little and he can do enough.
.
Once upon a summertime
Just a dream from yesterday
Martin and his magic Golden Glove
Heard a boat from Tokyo bay
“Come and throw to me, Hiroki
Come and play with me.
And I will take you on a trip
To the World Series
.
But the boat belonged to crazy Bobby Cox
Who had in mind Hiroki’s pitch to snitch
From his dugout third base side
He hoped his plan would materialize
.
Batters waved their wands
But the perfect game went on
Blanco tried to bunt
DeWitt foiled that puff
And the boat sailed on and on and on and on and on and on.
.
But Teixeira was watching too
And knew exactly what to do
He hit the ball to right field
And the perfect game did yield
Hiroki called his rescue racer crew
As often they’d rehearsed
And off to save Takashi flew
But who would get there first?
.
And now the Braves were on the floor
Saito arrived to save the day
Which made the Braves so mad and sore
Cox shook his first and screamed away.
.
H.K. Hardstuff,
Who’s your friend when things get rough?
H.K. Hardstuff
Can do a little and he can do enough.
.
H.K. Hardstuff,
Who’s your friend when things get rough?
H.K. Hardstuff
‘he’s your friend when things get rough..’

Original Song: Lover’s Cross
Original Artist: Jim Croce
Time: About an hour later (After Sweeney stopped crying)
Location: Joe Torre’s San Francisco hotel room
Scene (I hope): Torre breaks up with Sweeney
.
Groundhogs said it was bound to happen
Was just a matter of time
But now I’ve come to my decision
And it’s a-one of the painful kind
‘Cause now it seems that you wanted a martyr
Just a regular coach wouldn’t do
But Sweeney I can’t hang upon no lover’s cross for you
.
Yes, I really got to hand it to you
‘Cause girl you really tried
But for ev’ry time that we spent laughin’
There were ten times the fans cried
‘Cause I’ve been a martyr for Bubba Crosby before
But I can’t keep pinch-hitting with you
And Sweeney, I can’t hang upon no lover’s cross for you
.
‘Cause tables are meant for turnin’
And people are bound to change
And bridges are meant for burnin’
When journeyman outfielders deserve so much blame
.
So I’ll hope that you can find
Another who can take what I could not
He’ll have to be a super coach
Or maybe a Super God
‘Cause I’ve been a martyr for Bubba Crosby before
But I can’t keep pinch-hitting with you
And Sweeney, I can’t hang upon no lover’s cross for you

Time: Right now (1:55 a.m., July 4, 2004)
Location: Joe Torre’s San Francisco hotel room
Scene: Mark Sweeney begging Torre to save his behind
.
Original Song: Total Eclipse of the Heart
Original Artist: Bonnie Tyler
.
JUST A USELESS OLD FART
.
Turnaround, every other night I go to hit
but all my bat does is go round
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit tired of listening to the sound of the boos
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little terrified when I see the look in fan’s eyes
.
Turnaround JoJo, Every single night
I fall apart
Turnaround JoJo, Every single night
I fall apart
.
(Instrumental)
.
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit restless and my swing gets really wild
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit helpless and I’m lying like a child in your arms
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit angry ‘cuz I know my career’s about to die
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little terrified when I see the look in fan’s eyes
.
Turnaround JoJo, Every single night
I fall apart
Turnaround JoJo, Every single night
I fall apart
.
And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you’ll only hold me tight
We’ll be holding on forever
And we’ll only be making it right
Cause we’ll never be wrong together
.
Can’t I keep playing until I’m thirty-nine?
Your love for vets has been saving my *** all of the time
I don’t know how to hit and I’m swingin’ in the dark
We’re living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
I’m gonna start hitting tonight
I promise I’ll start hitting tonight
I swear I’ll start hitting tonight
.
(Instrumental)
.
Once upon a time I was mediocre
But now I’m just a useless old fart
There’s nothing I can do
I wonder if they’re hiring at KMart
Once upon a time I was mediocre
But now I’m just a useless old fart
Nothing I can say
I wonder if they’re hiring at Kmart
.
(Fade Out)

OPERATOR
Original Artist: Jim Croce
.
Operator, oh could you help me place this call
You see Number 9 on the scorecoard is old and faded
He’s rehabin’ in L.A.
And forcin’ me to play ‘Dre
A guy I like to sit when he’s rakin’

Isn’t that the way they say it goes
But let’s forget all that
And give me Juan’s number if you can find it
So I can call just to tell him I’m fine and to show
I’ve overcome the blow
I’ve learned to take it well
I only wish my words could just convince myself
That my vets will soon heal
But that’s not the way it feels
.
Operator, oh could you help me place this call
’cause I can’t read the number that you just gave me
I think Matt Kemp gave me pinkeye
You know it happens every time
I think about my JuanP I thought would save me
.
Isn’t that the way they say it goes
But let’s forget all that
And give me Juan’s number if you can find it
So I can call just to tell him I’m fine and to show
I’ve overcome the blow
I’ve learned to take it well
I only wish my words could just convince myself
That my vets will soon heal
But that’s not the way it feels

Three is a Magic Number
Original Artist: Schoolhouse Rock
.
Three is a magic number,
Yes it is, it’s a magic number.
Somewhere in the Dodger’s mystic trinity
You get three as a magic number.
.
A single, a walk, and a roundtripper
Steve Sax and 3-Dog Willie
Tommy’s heart, O’Malley’s brain and The Bison’s body
Give you three as a magic number.
.
Three times on-base makes a good leadoff
And can make an offense run
It takes Matt’s wheels to really run
Drive ‘em to distraction
.
Every triangle has three corners,
Every triangle has three sides,
No more, no less.
You don’t have to guess.
When it’s three you can see
It’s a magic number.
.
A Martin and a Loney joined Matt Kemp
Yes, they did.
Three superstars on one great team
And that’s a magic number.
.
3-6-9, 12-15-18, 21-24-27, 30.
3-6-9, 12-15-18, 21-24-27, 30.

What a JoJo Believes
Original Artist and Song: The Doobie Brothers, “What a Fool Believes”
.
He came from somewhere back in the AL
Joe Torre the fool don’t see
Tryin hard to win with Juanpy
But don’t see his very low OBP
.

Media musters a smile
For his nostalgic tale
Fans never come near what they really want to say
Only to keep from
Getting banned on ITD
.

New York had a place in his life
So much money he never had to think twice
As Collettt bends to kiss his ***
Any other GM would surely know
It’s time to let JoJo go
.

But what JoJo believes he sees
The wise fan has the power to reason away
Look at the stats he sees
Sweeney is slightly better than nothin’
But nothing keeps JoJo from sending him …
.
Somewhere back in his long ago
There was a place for him in the AL
Soon let’s hope he’ll return
.
New York had a place in his life
He never had to think twice
He offers no apology
For damaging Dodgers destiny
We’re watching him blow

But what a JoJo believes he sees …
(Fade Out)

Dire Straits:
.
Now look at them yo-yos that’s the way you do it
You call baseball on Fox TV
That ain’t workin that’s the way you do it
Money for nothin and chicks for free
Now that ain’t workin that’s the way you do it
Lemme tell ya that Kenny Albert is dumb
Maybe do some prep work on your six days off
Maybe get a blister on your typing thumb
.
We know these young guns
So do some research please
We know these young guns
They’re going to the World Series
.
See Tim McCarver with that goofy smile
Deion Sanders dumped three buckets on his hair
That Tim McCarver don’t know the rules
That Tim McCarver he’s a millionaire
.
We know these young guns
So do some research please
We know these young guns
They’re going to the World Series
.

I shoulda learned to spread false rumors
I shoulda learned to be a fool
Look at dorky Ken Rosenthal
Man he’s an East Coast tool
And he’s up there, whats that? Hawaiian noises?
Bangin on his keyboard like a chimpanzee
That ain’t workin that’s the way you do it
Get your money for nothin get your chicks for free
.

We know these young guns
So do some research please
We know these young guns
They’re going to the World Series
.

Now that aint workin thats the way you do it
You call baseball on Fox TV
That aint workin thats the way you do it …

A takeoff of the children’s book “Brown Bear, Brown Bear”:
.
Frankie, Frankie, what do you see?
I see my G.M. wasting money.
.
Neddy, Neddy, what do you see?
I see my vet-lovin’ buddy Torre.
.
Torre, Torre, what do you see?
I see Sweeney hitting oh-ninety-three.
.
Sweeney, Sweeney, what do you see?
I see Jeff Kent acting grouchy.
.
Kenty, Kenty what do you see?
I see Pierre’s shrinking OBP.
.
Juanpy, Juanpy, what do you see?
I see the young guys outplaying me.
.
Young guys, young guys, what do you see?
We see four or five World Series.

Theme Song to “Blue Acres” …
.
El- Lay is the place for me.
Dodger baseball is the life for me
Promise spreadin’ out so far and wide
Keep Joe Torre, just give me that True Blue Pride
.
San Francisco is where I come from
Stan Conte is my favorite bum
I just adore a basement view
Frank I love you but I’ll win just one of two
.
…The future!
…The past
…Postseason!
…No reason
.
I am GM
Screwed again
Mediocrity we are there