Results tagged ‘ northstateblues ’
The Blue GM Song
I’m not going anywhere, I might indulge in some non $15 alcoholic beverages… today practically calls for ‘em
And now for something completely different:
Ned: “OOOOOOOOhhhhhhhhhhh………………………
I’m a Blue GM, and that’s okay,
I trade away kids for vets who can’t play”
Frank and Joe: “He’s a Blue GM, and that’s okay,
He trades away kids for vets who can’t play”
Ned: “I trade away kids, and if they’re good,
I’ll sign ‘em 10 years later
I wear orange tights and skirts at night
To avoid all the haters”
Frank and Joe: “He trades away kids, and if they’re good,
He’ll sign ‘em 10 years later
He wears orange tights and skirts at night
To…. avoid…. all the…… …. huh?”
[awkward pause]
Joe: ” [clears throat] Ooooohhhh,
I’m the manager, and that’s okay
I sit down kids for vets who can’t play”
Frank and Ned: “He’s the manager, and that’s okay
He sits down kids for vets who can’t play”
Joe: “I lean on the rail as my team fails,
Take trips to the lavatory
I take 2 Advils and 2 Nytols
With Bigelow’s Green Tea”
Frank and Ned: “He leans on the rail as his team fails,
Takes trips to the lavatory
He takes 2 Advils and 2 Nytols
With… Bigelow’s Green… … “
[Frank and Ned are silent, look at Joe]
Frank: [spoken] you might want to seek help for that, Joe…
“Ohhhhhhh,
I’m the Blue owner, and that’s okay,
I buy cheap vets, sell kids I can’t pay.”
Ned and Joe: “He’s the Blue owner, and that’s okay,
He buys cheap vets, sells kids he can’t pay.”
Frank: “I spend my cash, though not on the team,
Don’t care about the fans’ strife,
I wear blush rouge for ladies,
Just like my &!%(# ex-wife”
Ned and Joe: “He spends his cash, though… not on the team?
Don’t care about the fans’ strife [Ned: Neither do I!]
He wears blush rouge for … ladies…?!”
Ned: YOU MEAN YOU HAD MORE MONEY?!!! I COULD’VE GOTTEN MAHLOM, LIVAN AND CHIPPER TOO?!!! [tears up] I don’t even know you anymore.
Joe: [sigh] Can’t believe I left the Yankees for this [rolls eyes]
Ned: But Joe, the Yankees let you…
Joe: [angrily cuts off Ned] I CAN’T BELIEVE I LEFT THE YANKEES FOR THIS!
Competing Is Just Alright
As I stated earlier (timewarped to 1:14 pm on this thread), Frank only wants to spend enough to field a “competative” ballclub. Well, any team in any game is competative, from Little League to baby crawling races. Wanting merely to compete is proof positive that Frank McCourt DOESN’T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES to run a World Championship caliber ballclub.
In light of that, we could all use a Doobie (Brothers cover song). Here’s “Frank” singing “Competing is Just Alright”:
Frank:
Competing is just alright with me, Competing is just alright, oh yeah
Competing is just alright with me, Competing is just alright
I don’t care what Champions say
I don’t care what Champions do
I don’t care what Champions say
Competing is just alright, oh yeah
Competing is just alright
Competing is just alright with me, Competing is just alright, oh yeah
Competing is just alright with me, Competing is just alright
I don’t care what Champions know
I don’t care ’bout the Big Show
I don’t care what Champions know
Competing is just alright, oh yeah…
The Dodgers are my friend, The Dodgers are my friend
They put cash in my hand to keep fans from the promised land
The Dodgers are my friend.
Competing is just alright with me, Competing is just alright, oh yeah
Competing is just alright with me, Competing is just alright
I don’t care what Champions say
I don’t care what Champions do
I don’t care what Champions say
Competing is just alright, oh yeah
Competing is just alright
Please Fear the Reaper
There’s still hope, no matter how dim the candle.
I shall try to purge these demons, but I’m going to need more cowbell… Dæmon, get thee hence!
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Please Fear the Reaper
All our hope has gone
Here Brim Reaper comes
Hitters don’t fear the Reaper
Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain
(Why would you call him?)
Come on Torre
(Please fear the Reaper)
Torre don’t wave your hand
(Please fear the Reaper)
Won’t be able to fly
(Please fear the Reaper)
As long as he’s our man
La, la la, la la
La, la la, la la
Any lead is gone
Once Brim Reaper comes
Torre and his washed-up vets
Will be together for eternity
(Sweeney, Loretta and Anderson)
40,000 men and women every day
(Like lemmings off a cliff)
40,000 men and women every day
(Off the Washington Bridge)
Another 40,000 coming every day
(McCourt laughs to the bank)
Come on Torre
(Please fear the Reaper)
Torre don’t wave your hand
(Please fear the Reaper)
Won’t be able to fly
(Please fear the Reaper)
As long as he’s our man
Love of PVL’s
Paves our road to hell
Another night of sadness
And it was clear he couldn’t come in
Then the pen flung open and the Reaper appeared
Two batters up, the game disappeared
Taschner comes, reaffirming our fear
(Please be afraid)
Come on Torre
(We’re all full of fear)
Stop running to him
(Kiss the W goodbye)
Looking backwards as you say goodbye
(Why would you call him?)
How much more can you stand?
(Why would you call him?)
Come on Torre
(Please fear the Reaper)
There’s no earthly way of knowing
There’s no earthly way of kn
Frank McCourt plays the fiddle as Chavez Ravine burns.
The comments on this blog about security issues at Dodger Stadium are once again ignored.
The Dodgers are well on their way to losing both games of a double header, since it was too much for McCourt to remember that he’s the owner of a MAJOR LEAGUE baseball club in the SECOND LARGEST MARKET IN THE COUNTRY.
It’s still early in the year, and if the team makes it to the playoffs this year, they’ve more than earned it. But as for now…
There’s no earthly way of knowing
Which direction we are going
There’s no knowing where we’re going
Or which way the river’s flowing
Is it raining? [I wish] Is it snowing?
Is a hurricane a-blowing?
Not a speck of light is showing
So the danger must be growing
Are the fires of hell a-glowing?
Is the grisly reaper mowing?
Yes, the Danger Must Be Growing
For the Rowers KEEP ON ROWING
AND THEY’RE CERTAINLY NOT SHOWING
ANY SIGNS THAT WE ARE SLOWING!!!!
(apologies to Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory)
well… I guess we do know which direction we are going.
A Buddy Holly Medley
A medley inspired by Buddy Holly and a song inspired by Buddy Holly. And everything in quotes is spoken by the same “speaker”.
Frank McCourt, Frank McCourt,
Bigtime smallfry comes up short,
Oh Frankie, F-f-Frank McCourt
Oh, they loved you once, but now no one wants Frank McCourt
Frank McCourt, Frank McCourt,
Go back to Hyannisport,
Oh Frankie, F-f-Frank McCourt
So, what do you say? Sell the team now, Frank McCourt?
“Noooo
That’ll be the day that Bud says goodbye,
That’ll be the day that Big Papi cries,
They say I’m gonna leave, I know it’s a lie, ’cause
That’ll be the day that TeamCo-(LA Dodgers baseball team)-division-of-TeamCo-Holding-division-of-LA-HoldCo-division-of-LA-Partners-division-of-TMBLP-division-of-Jamie/Frank-McCourt-and-Entities… :: phew :: dies.”
Everyday, the fans are getting closer
To jumpin’ off this crumbling roller coaster
Pitching help will never come our way, a-hey, a-hey hey…
Everyday comes a little faster
Press room bleached by photographic flashers
Jamie’s jowls drip, waiting for that day, a-hey, a-hey hey…
Everyday seems a little longer,
ERA’s not getting any stronger,
Never thought anyone would long for
Two thousand three…
“Lying, baiting, hoping the fans come back,
I just can’t seem to get the pitching off their mind
Lying, baiting, hoping, saying All-Is-Well
I need 3 million more fans before I can buy that property on Vine…”
What’s with this crony dissing my team?
Why does he gotta front?
What did we ever do to that guy
That runs our team on pocket lint
Oh no, We’ll go and score four runs
Oh no, then we’ll give up five
Oh no, happens every time
Oh-ee-oh, listening to Rick and Charlie
Saying the bullpen gave up 4 more
Frankie says “Who needs pitching aces, anyway,
I don’t care about that,
I don’t care about that.”
Bang, bang, 2 homers in the fourth,
Donnie picks Torre off the floor,
Fifth inning comes, what do we do?
Don’t look now, they scored another two.
I can’t watch, the arms won’t click,
“Wassamatta fans, are you feeling sick?
Wassamatta, wassamatta, wassamatta you?
Wassamatta fans, are you feeling blue?”
Happens every time…
Oh-ee-oh, listening to Rick and Charlie
Saying the bullpen gave up 4 more
Frankie says “Who needs pitching aces, anyway?
I don’t care about that.
I don’t care about that.
I don’t care about that.
I don’t care about that.”
The Sound of Silence
Hello “Dodgers”, my old friend
Will you ever speak once again?
With Glendale slowly creeping
Fallow fields where once was granted
The robust crop last decade planted
Pre-McCourt’s reign still remain
Within the sound of silence.
In restless night, I search alone
Steer clear of the TMZ zone
The Halo’s shadow casting long
Eclipsing thoughts that once belonged
When my hopes were stabbed by the flash
Of the divorce, tabloid sports
Nurture the sound of silence.
And in the void there I saw
3,000,000 people, likely more
People laughing without thinking
People cheering without listening
People singing songs that bloggers
never dared, and still I stared
Admired the sounds of silence.
“Fools,” said some, “You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Read my words, let them pervert you
Your Blue-blood loves will soon desert you”
But their words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells of silence.
And the people bowed and prayed
To the Blue heroes that they made
And the pundits were still warning
Of that behind the curtain, forming,
They said “The will of the people is given
In the turnstiles and torn tickets
Never in the sound of silence”
Goodbye Strangers
Goodbye Strangers (based on “Goodbye Stranger”)
It was an early exit yesterday
Before the Series dawned
And hearing what the McCourts say
It’s time those two moved on
Like a King as his own joker
Like a Queen without a thought
I’m tired of this embarassement
It’s time those two moved on
Now I don’t believe that T.J.
Writes the undisputed truth
But reading the things he relays
Makes fans weep for their youth
Like a ship forever anchored
Like a slave forever chained
Just the thoughts of those beaneaters
Sends a shiver through my veins
But the team will go on shining
Shining like brand new
We’ll never look behind us
With McCourt memories few…
Goodbye strangers, it’s been sad
Hope you split yourselves in half
Cannot see your point of view
Never been to Malibu
Goodbye Jamie, Goodbye Frank
Please feel free to walk the plank
You feel no sorrow, feel no shame
Players and fans feel the pain…
Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t
Present their story well
We hope they will, they say they won’t
But Bud won’t make them sell
You can laugh at my behavior
That’ll never bother me
Say I’m just another blogger
But I don’t pay no heed
But the team will go on shining
Shining like brand new
We’ll never look behind us
With McCourt memories few…
Goodbye strangers, it’s been sad
Hope you split yourselves in half
Cannot see your point of view
Never been to Malibu
Goodbye Jamie, Goodbye Frank
We’ll be scrubbing out your stank
You feel no sorrow, feel no shame
Players and fans feel the pain…
TMZ Bull____, it’s not for me
Just sell the franchise, and set us free
Atlantic Ocean, so far away
Call back the McCourts, yesterday
Say you’re leaving, you’ve got to go
Hit the road… I’ll say it once again:
Say you’re leaving, you’ve to to go
You’ve got to go, gotta make that dash
Goodbye Jamie, Goodbye Frank
May we never meet again…
The Illogical Song
I’ve been considering doing these for about a week now, thanks to a $1.50 vinyl I found in the bargain bin that has turned out to be one of my new favorite albums. Fitting, since Supertramp’s “Breakfast in America” and the McCourt’s marriage occured the same year, and one glance at the lyrics in the liner notes (the real ones, not the usual crap I’m peddling here) will draw some interesting parallels to what we’re reading in the papers.
Anyway, I’m hoping to knock out the rest of Side 1 tonight (The first track, “Frankie’s Gone Hollywood” is earlier in this comment thread). I figure if Eric can do all of “Alice’s Restaurant” and E can do… well, half of all the American Pop/Rock/RnB music ever written, I can tackle one measly little 40 some-odd minute album. Enjoy
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The Illogical Song (based on “The Logical Song”)
When I was young, it seemed the Dodgers were wonderful, a miracle,
Oh, they were superb and magical
With 6 rings in 3 decades, well we were singing so happily, joyfully,
Visions of blue in our dreams
But Peter sold them away, FOX’s rule was reprehensible, illogical,
Irresponsible, impractical
And they showed us a world where the team was undependable, so criminal,
And the fans became cynical
There are times when the sports world’s asleep,
And I’ll be searching deep
For times that seem so far
From some books, our tradition I’ve learned
And I know it seems absurd
But please tell me who we are
Now come the McCourts, and their divorce is so distracting, disgusting,
ESPN’s TMZ hunting
And in the midst of our promise comes a future unacceptable, irreprable,
Thanks to Boston’s two vegetables
There are times when the sports world’s asleep,
And I’ll be searching deep
For times that seem so far
From some books, our tradition I’ve learned
And I know it seems absurd
But please tell me who we are
Who we are
Who we are
Who we are
Oh, Please McCourts, go
Oh, Please McCourts, go (based on “Caroline No” by the Beach Boys)
Where did our Blue Crew go?
Where’s that team we used to know?
The owners’ box emits a toxic glow
Oh, please McCourts, go
Why can’t you go away?
I remember when you used to say
You cared about the team, but that’s not true
Oh, McCourts, we’re screwed
Break our hearts
Our eyes are much too dried to cry
It’s so sad to watch our team’s hopes die
Oh, Frank McCourt, why?
Could we ever find in you again
All the things that made us so great then?
Can we bring O’Malley back once he has gone?
Oh, please McCourts go…
[music fades into braying donkeys, squealing pigs and vultures circling overhead]
dodgereric
From the progeny of Garv comes inspiration… must look at this animated GIF from sonsofstevegarvey.com for it to make sense (and for a good laugh in and of itself): http://img827.imageshack.us/img827/6672/img021001.gif
Without any further ado, I give you Brian Wilson, singing “Gatorade Towels” (Apologies to the Beach Boys for butchering their classic “Good Vibrations”)
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Ohhh… I hate these horrible clothes we wear
Even John Elway thinks we look like Minute Maids
Ohhh… I hear the sound of inevitable deflation
And there’s nothing left for me to do or say…
I’m tearing up Gatorade towels
So tight, no movement in my bowels
I’m tearing up Gatorade towels
So tight, no movement in my bowels
(Mmm bop bop)I’m tearing up (Mm bop bop)Gatorade Towels
(Mmm bop bop)So tight, no movement (Mm bop bop)in my bowels
(Mmm bop bop)I’m tearing up (Mm bop bop)Gatorade Towels
(Mmm bop bop)So tight, no movement (Mm bop bop)in my bowels
Close my eyes, seems a little bit farther now
Matt Cain weeps, the Baseball Fates just weren’t kind
Lookin’ through my tearful eyes
Posey skips with me into a blossom world
I’m tearing up Gatorade towels
So tight, no movement in my bowels
I’m tearing up Gatorade towels
So tight, no movement in my bowels
(Mmm bop bop)I’m tearing up (Mm bop bop)Gatorade Towels
(Mmm bop bop)So tight, no movement (Mm bop bop)in my bowels
(Mmm bop bop)I’m tearing up (Mm bop bop)Gatorade Towels
(Mmm bop bop)So tight, no movement (Mm bop bop)in my bowels
Tearin’ up, tearin’ up, tearin’ up Gatorade towels (Mmm bop bop, mm bop bop)
Tearin’ up, tearin’ up, tearin’ up Gatorade towels (Mmm bop bop, mm bop bop)
Tearin’ up, tearin’ up, tearin’ up Gatorade towels (Mmm bop bop, mm bop bop)
Tearin’ up, tearin’ up, tearin’ up Gatorade towels (Mmm bop bop, mm bop bop)
Boo hoo hoo hoo hoooooo… boo hoo hoo…
Boo hoo hoo hoo hoooooo… boo hoo hoo…
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